When I was young, I made myself believe that they're just playing a trick on my brothers and me. I imagined them laughing so hard because they got us so well. I believed that one fine sunday morning, I'd wake up to a normal family. I'd wake up to something I'd always wanted. Sometimes I convince myself well but other days I questioned how long they planned to play the trick.
And then I remember how I never dared to sing the complete version of the Barney theme song. Only because it goes, "we are happy family". I used to either pause at that moment or say it soft enough only for my ears to hear. I don't know why but I guess I learnt at a young age what happiness is. I thought I'd get scolded to even talk or sing about it. Other times I just don't want to be in denial.
You know they say everything will come to an end and one day the sun will shine for us. I'm just wondering that maybe certain things are meant to be broken. It started out broken and will remain broken. No matter how good you are at covering up, how you fake the laughter, how you try to maintain peace.
Some things remain broken;
whether you like it or not.
& that is the part of yourself nobody can ever heal.
