Sunday, August 05, 2007
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
11:26 PM
Friday, August 03, 2007
If anyone even noticed, i have'nt been blogging too properly in a very long time. and i hate how most of my past entries turn out to be so so so bloody emotional. i tried blogging of happy days but i never did include the late night conversations and tears. i'm just so fucking tired of how each entry shows the insecurity, shame, guilt and confusion i feel inside. i don't know why everything is falling in my life. i don't know why shits happen all the fucking time. i don't know why and how i fake the smiles. i don't know where i found the every strength to say "i'm okay" when i really am not. i don't know why. i really don't. i try, oh how i try to reach out. i did tell a few people of the situation i'm in. i did let a few people in. i'm happy i actually have a few people in this world, who actually wants to listen to the pain i'm going thru, the (very) few who make me feel comfortable enough to shed tears during conversations. but sometimes i feel as though they really don't want to listen. i feel like i'm disturbing them with my smses and calls. i guess they'd rather be talking to someone else and seriously, my gut feelings never wrong. i'm sorry. i'm sorry for being such an ass all the time. i'm sorry for always telling you how fucked up i feel. i'm sorry for always hoping you'd make me feel better. i'm sorry for being so difficult all the time.i just don't know what i want right now. i'm lost, confused and damaged at best. i really dunno what to do.ok you know what, shut up. i don't know i bothered typing this at all. scram.
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
5:28 AM
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Today, I found outThat I don't really matter to anyone, anymore.i'm nobody.i'm just a girl who died while she was still living.
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
4:28 PM
does your life have meaning?how do you know that your life has meaning?what do they mean when they say "my life has meaning"?how do you find meaning?will meaning find you?do you just listen to your heart?how does your heart communicate with you?does your heart know how to find meaning?who knows how to find meaning?We must never make our parents sad, even if this means giving up everything that makes us happy.
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
3:35 PM
