SAVE ME; someone's bound to hear my cries.

Friday, May 27, 2005

yawn*

ok many things happened since i last blogged.mostly not good la.but things have got better,thank god.

well my eyes are damn fun things.haha.i went to the hospital on wednesdae morning and was suppose to come back for appointment todae laa but my left eye started to bleed that night.HAHA.lol yea den i went to the hospital that night la and met an eye specialist.wah i was hoping like fuck for DESMOND QUEK but bleh they gave me someone else. i cant fucking remember his name but he's ok la nice also.but not as charming as desmond.haha.bleh so anyway yes he was telling me that one of the cappilaries in my eye burst or wat.haha.i started laughing sia.den yeh he checked all he said my eye lash damn long,easy to pull over my eye lids.bleh.exactly what Desmond said.haha.den he used this orange dye into my eyes so he could see the cuts inside.bleh.and after that all the tears that came out from my eyes were orange! aha so he said my eyes mght bleed agen and bleh he ask me to come for the fridae appointment. so i went jus now and he said it was slightly better.and he changed my medicine to something which contains steriods.haha.yayness. but ok la my eyes and am suppose to go agen in 5 days time which is on the 1st of june.blehness.haha.i seriously enjoy going to the hospitals.and now i have an appointment card!!! how cool right.heh.

its like everytime i close my eyes i can see the acident replaying.omg its so scary..i jus have to thank my god for the unseriousness.hah.ok *no such word*.

i hate being told what to do.i mean,maaybe u can remind me but dun use the tone like you are forcing me.its fucking irritating.i dun like being told what to do.

the book fair thingy starts tmr but my babehs are going bangkok tmr morning.wont be able to send them to the airport either.bleh.i'll miss u'all.haha.well yeh.a lot of gigs happening.*yayness*

i love ronin's crazy son.haha.it should be crazy daughter laa.lol.but my mum.she understands.heha.

it just had to be you_

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
10:13 PM

Friday, May 20, 2005

ok i'm going to kl later.yayness.aha.cant wait to spend! didnt go for the cross country shit.and wont be going to school till wednesdae! but i'll be back here by tuesday laa.my left eye hurts.its still very red but not so anymore.ahha ok yea. mice will be absent for as long as im absent too.haaha.great fren there.but dunno how we'll get the mcs.haha.lol who cares.

ok bye ((=

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
2:52 PM

Thursday, May 19, 2005

when u left, i lost a part of me. its still so hard to believe.come back baby please.We belong together.

ok im not sure about the we belong together part but yeh i guess the rest kind of make sense.

time flies doesnt it.its alreadi may 2005.it all happened more than a year ago.and yet im still holding on to it some how.its crazy how i thought he meant nothing but then after he really left i realised some things.its like what they say, u'll never know what you got till its gone.it use to be jus another suppose to be meaningful line to me but now it really make sense.

its so dark outside.im scared.haha ok c r a p.

my left eye is a fucking bitch.it hurts like getting fucked.Lol im serious.ahah.i want to go to the doctor! ok no i want to go to changi hospital! omg itll be great fun!hehs. i need to get shades laa so people wont stare at my eye when im outside.its fucking irritating.i know la its damn red.u staring @ might cause you eye to be red too! yayness (=

ok so farhan wants me to mention his name.happay now,loser? hhaha. i understand that you are bored but please please stop the ok or ko thing k its irritating.haha.yay!oh u stop alreaday.haha.yayness.

might not be going to school tmr either.cross country ~ bleh =X. i hate running and my eye hurts.

ok shoosh i should go.oh rafe's i believe lyrics below.lol i love that song.blehx.

esmereLda* (=

I believe - Rafe

Though I've tried to let you go
deep inside my heart I know
Angry pieces of conversations fall me down
Come and take me higher, Baby light my fire

I believe i'm so much pain
i believe you'll love again
lose yourself,eventually you'll find your way

I believe that im so boring
a poison tongue,im not your healing
these crazy lines will feed your broken-hearted smile

You're all alone drink bitter coffee
though not as bad as your bitter heart
Angry pieces conversations fall you down
"Come and take me higher baby light my fire"

but
I believe i'm so much pain
i believe you'll love again
lose yourself,eventually you'll find your way

I believe that im so boring
a poison tongue,im not your healing
these crazy lines will feed your broken-hearted smile

words/music by Awi Rafael

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
5:56 PM

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you so
I should have held on tight
I never should've let you go
I didn't know nothing
I was stupid
I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that
I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself

Cause I didn't know you
Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling now
Now that I don't
Hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, cause baby

When you left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody there
We belong together

I only think of you
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things
Crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
Ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life baby

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
10:48 PM

Monday, May 16, 2005

Seems like just yesterday, you were a part of me
I used to stand so tall, I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight, everything it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong

now i can't breathe, no i can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

here i am, once again
I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend
just thought you were the one
broken up,deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these ~~hazel~~ brown eyes

I told you everything, opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright, for once in my life
Now all that's left of me is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside

Swallow me, then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you, it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside anymore
Anymore

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
4:09 PM

[[iqarahermiqi]]
i miss halil.
i love changi hospital.

ok so exams are finally over.and i'm blog again.haha. feels like i'm a totally new person these days.like at least i dun think of him and cry anymore.ooh yesterday was 17 months ! haha.but yeh i don't feel like damn arkward talking about stuff which happened last year anymore. well thanks to my dear friends and i guess my mum.hehs.like i cant believe i can actually talk to her stuff about him and all.lol.she actually understood.and i guess i understand why she didnt like us together.well yeh.sometimes its true what they say,mother knows best.she becoming more of a best friend to me these days.

exams were like bleh.haa.well english compo was nice la about parents.aha.den maths was like tootings.i love it.bio was like damn easy laa.i mean,it was so much easier than most of us expected it to be.yayness.den lit was super FUN.i love the unseen poem.well cant really remember the whole thing but yeh,it was nice.k den chem was ooting fun laa! haha. lol yeh this mid year was like the FUNNEST! hah. no such word. but hehs im serious.ahha.oh yeh f&n just now was ooting rubbish.ok yeh.that suucked.i mean,u can never expect me to know how to clean a fish right??? shoosh me for being absent on the day she went through in class.

ok yeh exams are over.supposed to go to atiqa's house but that super smart arse had dental appointment.bleh.ooh i had ooting flooting sheeshing fun yesterday! haha. had this family gathering @ my grandmere's house which is like jus next door laa.ahah.well yeh so met all of my cousins.ok not all.but yeh.aha.we celebrated nabil's burfdae too. omg cant believe that damn arse who took my room has turned 20 ! haha.lol yeh yea, and i'm still 14..haha. nah i'll turn 15 soon.hmm yeh.i love my brother.haha.k den next month will be samir's burfdae! yayness. and another auntie's i think so they'll be another gathering! hehs. funn. like we all cousins took pic together.like a long time since we last did that laa..i think the last time was during one on my aunt's wedding and that was ooting long ago! hell yeh. lol i love my cousins laa.especially syaira and imah. its like we get damn close during gathering but never get to do stuff outside.haha.can u believe it,i dun even hav syaira's msn or hp number and she live like the nearest to me.haha. well yeh.hehs.we should reallly go out one day!

ok its weird,but i miss farhan! i miss talking to him in msn.like he understood some stuff.hehs. i miss not being able to look at the top of his head cus hes much taller.hehs.i miss that boy.its funny how some firends jus walk out of your life once they found a girlfriend or boyfriend.bleh.

ok so i noe that was a lot of shit but well thats jus me.i have a lot to say.but i prefer writing.haha.i wanna be a journalist !! yayness.or a theatre actor.or i could write a book ! haha.ok c r a p laa.i seriously feel like doing rubbish.like maybe i should start my drumming sessions.ok its not rubbish la but it could get me out of it.haha.i feel like being in a production. arrgh.yeh but havent heard of any theatre thingy going on except for the fire prevention thing which we havent even started on.ok rishi wrote the script but yeh.nothing else done.ok yeap.

LOL.my father gave me 500 RM! haha.yeh his way of making me go for his company's family day thingy. i mean,i dun mind going but bleh i've got sch.and going means i'll have to skip school on the 23rd.well RM 500's worth it i guess.aaahha.and i told him i'd rather get 500 SD and he gave me that whatever look.haha.i love my father.and my mum said she didnt want to go also,hoping to get an amount also haha. but my father was like she has to go cause she practically owns the company.haha.funneh people.sometimes its good to have such crazy things going on in my family.toodles.

ok i seriously should stop.but really,theres so much more for me to write.about the camp,about my experience in changi hospital last week about me and about you.aha.bleh.maybe later.

love you,you,you and YOU.
blieh blieh `

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
2:36 PM

Friday, May 13, 2005

I tried to forget you
but you are always on my mind
I tried to ignore you
but baby I just know i can't

Im waiting for you so desperately
asked myself,"Why am I giving in?"
No matter how hard i would try
i won't run,I can't lie
That's it's you that I want

If only you could ever see
my point of view, what I see when I look at you
If only you would ever know
I'll bring your soul
to wherever I should go..

I tried to look busy
acting to be what I am not
No one can control me or stop me
Cause baby,you are all I've got..

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
2:58 PM