SAVE ME; someone's bound to hear my cries.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I suck lah okay, i know. someone thinks i suck also. i know. and she's better than me. i also know la ok. she has forever been better than me. thank you so much for reminding me. not like i need a reminder ah ass.

And you reading this won't change anything, i know. i'm stilll an ass. thank you so much.

But anyway, i resist temptation. (: It look so chocolatey, almost heaven i tell you. But i threw it away. I think i've sinned too much, and will sin more in the future. So i don't think i need this one to fullfill me. ok so too bad.

How do i tell you that there's no one else, that i need you here with me?

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
12:39 AM

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

~~hello boy,~~

~~you suck cuz you really do leave me speechless and breathless. i thought i could resist you but no, you're apparently stronger than me. perharps cuz you're different from what i've known?~~

you know how much i hate running. but if i get crazy enough, i would run a million miles just to hear you say my name.

much love,

~~me.~~

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
3:51 AM

Monday, February 26, 2007

Let's just stop, drop everything, forget each other's names, and just walk away.

Turn around and head in different directions, like we never, it's like we never knew each other at all. We said what we feel, then we stop ourselves, and just walk away. Never looking back, loving every second of it, we just walk away.

This is probably the best, not to mention the worst idea, that I have ever had.

Ignoring what we've loved, overlooking what we've done, no awkward silences, no hiding any truths. What do you say?

Let's just stop, drop everything, forget each other's names, can we please just walk away? It could be... could be..

Like we never knew each other at all.

Answer me!

All egos aside, what do you say?

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
3:51 AM

Saturday, February 24, 2007

"Think highly of yourself"

Quoted by Mr dupree nashoha, 04:22

HAHA. Thanks a whole lot for listening to my rants, you! ((:

AND,

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY TO:
NADIAH ANWAR NIAZI AKA YAYA.

We still do love you very much okay, even without a party! May ALL your hopes and wishes come true, love. (:
And not so much of a little girl anymore, uh. haha. But then again, still so little. Hoho!

P/S: Hello you alls, I won't be blogging properly here anymore. Probably mostly of the entries here will be lyrics of certain songs and perharps shoutouts to some people. Proper updates would be my LiveJournal but its locked and only limited to friends only. Which means you need an LJ account for it. I just don't want certain people to know certain things, thats alll. And it could just be you. (:

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
3:40 PM

Jojo - How To Touch A girl

I think I could like you

I already do

Feelings can grow but

They can go away too

You're taking my hand

Lookin into my eyes

Don't be in a rush to

Get me tonight

Feel something happening

Could this be a spark?

To satisfy me baby

Gotta satisfy my heart

Do you know how to touch a girl?

If you want me so much

First I have to know

Are you thoughtful and kind?

Do you care what's on my mind?

Or am I just for show?

You'll go far in this world

If you know how to touch a girl

I think I could like you

But I keep holding back

Cause I can't seem to tell

If you're fiction or fact

Show me you can laugh

Show me you can cry

Show me who you really are

Deep down inside

Do you feel somethin happenin?

Could this be for real?

I don't know right now but tonight we'll reveal

Do you know how to touch a girl?

If you want me so much

First I have to know

Are you thoughtful and kind?

Do you care what's on my mind?

Or am I just for show?

You'll go far in this world

If you know how to touch a girl

Bring me some flowers

Conversation for hours

To see if we really connect

And baby if we do

Ooh I'll be givin all my love to you

Ohh

Do you know how to touch a girl?

If you want me so much

First I have to know

Are you thoughtful and kind?

Do you care what's on my mind?

Or am I just for show?

You'll go far in this world

If you know how to touch a girl

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
3:28 PM

Friday, February 23, 2007

The Veronicas - Speechless

feels like i have always known you
and i swear i dreamt about you
all those endless nights i was alone
it's like i've spent forever searching
now i know that it was worth it
with you it feels like i am finally home

falling head over heels
thought i knew how it feels
but with you it's like the first day of my life

cuz you leave me speechless
when you talk to me
you leave me breathless
the way you look at me
you manage to disarm me
my soul is shining through
can't help but surrender
my everything to you

i thought i could resist you
i thought that i was strong
somehow you were different from what i've known
i didn't see you coming
you took me by surprise and
you stole my heart before i could say no

falling head over heels
thought i knew how it feels
but with you it's like the first day of my life

you leave me speechless
when you talk to me
you leave me breathless
the way you look at me
you manage to disarm me
my soul is shining through
i can't help but surrender
oh no
my everything to you

you leave me speechless
(the way you smile)
you leave me breathless
(it's something that you do i can't explain)
i run a million miles just to hear you say my name
baby

you leave me speechless
you leave me breathless
the way you look at me
you manage to disarm me
my soul is shining through
i can't help but surrender
my everything to you.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
3:59 PM

I think I'm bored.

I think I should stop wasting my money by taking taxis everywhere I go.

I think I should start waking myself way early so I would have the time to catch a bus and not be late.

I think someone is really annoying.

I think she should really stop thinking that I care. Because I think I don't bother about him at all.

I think, I think wrong.

I think its true, I think I really do care.

I think you don't care.

I think I'm right, you really don't care.

I think I'm going to forever stay quiet.

I think I'm forever going to shut up.

I think I'm not going to tell you how I feel.

I think that would be too scary.

I think I think too much.

I think, too much.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
2:19 AM

Thursday, February 22, 2007

I can't believe the things you said to me now I am
Not alright, not well, and I cannot yet tell you,
if I'll survive in spite of all the hurt, lost time
Because I'm a million miles away inside; and I can't breathe.

Just know I did not believe your lies
And now I will not be there by your side
When all of your choices come to haunt you
The things you've done to me after all I've done for you.

You left, you said you were never very much in love with me
And I am not enough of everything you think you need
But I cannot believe you took for granted every time that I took a stand for you
I see now you are not enough that "someone",
for someone like me.

I hoped, I prayed that you could somehow find a way
To stay for one more day for me; for all that we could be.

But, no, you did not give me that right
And now I will not be there by your side
When all of your choices come to haunt you
The things you've done to me after all I've done for you.

You left, you said you were never very much in love with me
And I am not enough of everything you think you need
But I cannot believe you took for granted every time that I took a stand for you
I see now you are not enough that "someone",
for someone like me.

Now I'm alright
I still get by
It comes as no surprise
Living without you
I am still breathing and alive
Now that you're out of my life
I'm not giving up everything I have for you, no more, I'm through
You know I'll never break again for you.

You left, you said you were never very much in love with me
And I am not enough of everything you think you need
But I cannot believe you took for granted every time that I took a stand for you
I see now you are not enough that "someone",
for someone like me.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
11:58 PM

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

~~He's touch, smell, sight, taste and sound.~~

But somehow I can't believe that anything should happen. I know where I belong and nothing's going to happen.

He came and spoke to me. I froze immediately. Cuz what he said sounds so unreal. Cuz somehow I can't believe that anything should happen.

I know where I belong, nothing's going to happen.

;cuz you're so perfect and I can't measure up.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
1:39 AM

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm sleepy but I can't sleep. Work was okay but suddenly I feel so exhausted from work. Thanks to the "holiday", I suppose? Anyway, I've got 30 hours of work for this week. Really useful to pay my bills you see. But, I think I need to do some shopping! You know, before school starts.

After work Atiqah and me decided to catch a movie at Tampines. Which was really '_'ly effing stupid. Really! We finished at six, slacked by the office and left close to seven. We cabbed to TM, which was really a wastage. Both TM and Century Square did not have Norbit at the right time. ): But we were both really tired and just wanted to slack on like sofa seats. And so we settled for Delifrance. Delifrance suck la okay! They cheated us la ass. The picture on the menu looks so nice and tempting but when the food arrived, it was horrible whore! Big time cheaters. Then they did'nt have the egg sandwich which looked realllyyyy goooddddd. Whats worse, they did'nt have any other sandwiches uh. Thats it, Delifrance goes to my not-going-there-to-eat-and-waste-money list, along with Breeks and Seoul Garden. Bluek!

And oh, Atiqah the ever so belo! (: You funny la ass, make me laugh with you uber belo-ness. Helmet fell on you, scream "EH! motor! motor!". HAHAHA. Then go 4th floor, "Want to take lift or MRT?" LOL. And...too bad Yaya, the date this Thursday is cancelled okay, I've got work like 10 hours of work for that day. Which means, we can't meet for lunch and dinner uh. And please eh, don't go w/o me. I'll cry okay. We'll find a day where everyone is free k! (:

okay thank you bye.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
11:29 PM

Wow.

Thats it, I'm finally back. Seriously back, no more random and annoying trips to wherever. There's really no place like home, of that I'm sure. That feeling you get when you sing the national song Home to yourself, well it brought tears to my eyes. Most of you probably don't know why. And I hope you won't need to.

I don't ever want to leave this place I've found. Never. The people I've met here being one of the main reasons. They're just amazing. People I know through all the school I've attended, through mutual friends, through local music gigs, through the online world and recently, through work. People I know, who don't play much a big role in my life still matter to me somehow. I guess its just me, I believe our paths crossed for a reason. For me to like, love, hate or develop whatever feelings towards that person.

And, I miss people oh very the easily. lol. Its heart pain, if you ask me. Atiqa, Feeza, Nadiah, Dhea, Hannah, Mira, Alif, Farhan, mesmerized crew, my colleagues! (I have'nt been to work eversince like, 11 days okay can) and well, Rifah, FarhAn and Idah and their other random friends! Can we like please meet soon!! ): Okay, I'm meeting atiqa at work tmr and a few of my colleagues (duno who yet) but I won't be working with Miss syafiah. :(

God, I better get to bed now. Almost three in the morning and I'll have to be awake again in five hours or I'll be late for work. I'm doing opening again and boy does it suck. But I've got to find a way to pay my hp bill cuz starhub decided to be a biatch and disallowed outgoing calls and smses. So people, if you sms me, please don't ask me a question! Just tell me full story, its annoying when I can't reply like "WHY?" and I really want to know why. You know? Ok thanks. Bye.

I'm so...deprived eh?
Of everything, really.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
2:32 AM

Sunday, February 18, 2007

I'm super duper bored, I really don't know what to do. I've been blog hopping eversince I came online. I visit every single person's (whom I know) blog again and again, hoping they've updated something interesting enough for me to read within a day. BUT NO! Start updating properly can! Lol. Not like I do update all the time, but who cares! No one really read this shit anyway! But you people are so annoying! BLOG MORE LA PLEASE! I DO READ ALL OF YOUR ENTRIES, OKAY! No matter how fucked up and fake and crappy they can be! Just update okay! Keep me updated with your boring lives can!

HAHA. whoever bothered to read my last paragraph must be really bored! BORED? TAG MY BOARD! OR maybe you can ALSO do something INTERESTING LiKe tYpInG yOuR bLoG eNtRy lIkE tHiS! OR if i tpye lkie tihs can you uenstdrnad waht i'm siayng? OR YOU CAN ALSO TYPE IN CAPS.
--
Things anyway, are not as good as how I let it seem to be. I'm in the most fucked up situation anyone can ever be, stranded between my own hopes and dreams and my mum's. I'm confused and lost. I really am. Talking to Atiqah online was good. Even though we were'nt exactly talking in person. I got to let go of how I feel about this whole situation. I felt like there was a shoulder to cry on, even though there really was'nt. I feel slightly better, but I know the nightmare's not over.

I guess I'll never be the daughter she wants me to me. I'm just never good enough for her. Never. I've always disappointed her with the choices I've made. But, why? I don't want to ever be hypocritical, I'm not going to pretend I'm happy when I really am not. I'm not going to pretend I like doing something when I don't. I'm sorry if its going to hurt you. I just cannot do that.

I'm just not someone who pretends to be happy, to make others happy even though I know its not right. If thats what a good person is, then I'm sorry, I'm not good. If that makes me bad, if it makes me evil to believe in my dreams, then I'm bad and I'm evil.

And I'm sorry I'm not a straight A's student. I'm sorry I'm nothing like your son and daughter. But I can never be what you want me to be. I can never settle for something so out of my league. Never. I'm sorry I'm a terrible daughter and niece. I do love the both of you much but really, I don't want to continue pretending.

I'm never gonna be good enough for you.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
2:07 AM

Friday, February 16, 2007

HELLO!
I know everyone is doing this but I'm just doing it for my own futhur reference since I did'nt print it out. (:

1) Dip in Veterinary Technology
- (Temasek Polytechnic)
2) Dip in Mass Communication
- (Ngee Ann Polytechnic)
3) Dip in Chemical Engineering (I REALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHY!)
- (Temasek Polytechnic)
4) Dip in Biomedical Science/Biotechnology
- (Temasek Polytecnic)
5) Dip in Media and Communication
- (Singapore Polytechnic)
6) Dip in Molecular Technology
- (Nanyang Polytechnic)
7) Dip in Biotechnology
- (Singapore Polytechnic)
8) Dip in Hospitality and Tourism Management
- (Temasek Polytechnic)
9) Dip in Law & Management
- (Temasek Polytechnic)
10) Dip in Psychology & Community Services
- (Ngee Ann Polytechnic)
11) Dip in Applied Food Science & Nutrition
- (Temasek Polytechnic)
12) Dip in Media Studies & Management
- (Nanyang Poltechnic)

Suddenly I felt like I should have included some JC in my choices eh. Like maybe Innova or Pioneer? But one's in Woodlands and the other's in Chua Chu Kang lah!! Okay, I just find out Pioneer's in CCK. Lol. Crazyness please. And Tampines jc is just too melayu for my own good. lol. And you know, I really have no idea why I placed Chemical Engineering as my 3rd choice. Urgh. I just really2 want Veterinary Technology lah please!! (: & ):

Tag Replies:

Toncet: Thanks yous for the praying. (: I really want to get in and then guess what! We'll be in the same school la eh! Cool or what. Huahuahua. & see you around soon, okay!

Feeza & Atiqah: I don't care! I tried my best, I did'nt sleep for nights just thinking about this. But I can't do this, I cannot choose between the five of you. ): So its either all five, or non at all, or someone else. Hmm?

Mira: I love you, babe. (: And no, when I get married, I won't leave you behind lah! We're supposed to get married together, remember? HAHA. Really, why are we talking about marriage here? *shakes head* But anyway, I miss you like a cockroach missing baygon. Lol.

Syafiah: BABE! You're really too sweet. Haha. I missed you too, and I'm still missing you. See you around at work or something la okay! And oh, I think miss someone from work. But then...must be you lah eh. Chey. Macam faham! haha. =D

---

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
11:12 PM

Sunday, February 11, 2007

I've never been

The one to raise my hand

That was not me

And now that's who I am

Because of you

I am standing tall

My heart is full

Of endless gratitude

You were the one

The one to guide me through

Now I can see

And I believe

It's only just beginning

This is what we dream about

But the only question with me now

Is do I make you proud

Stronger than I've ever been now

Never been afraid of standing out

Do I make you proud

I guess I've learned

To question is to grow,

That you still have faith,

Is all I need to know,

I've learned to love,

My selfish part of me,

And I've learned to

Walk on the road I believe.

Everybody needs to rise up

Everybody needs to be loved

To be loved

Everybody need to rise on

Everybody needs to be loved, to be loved

This is what we dream about

But the only question with me now

Is do I make you, do I make you proud

This is what we dream about

Never been afraid of standing out

Do I make you proud

Stronger than I've ever been

Never been afraid of standing out

Do I make you proud

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
1:14 AM

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Woah, I stilll cannot get over it. I checked my result slip (yet again) when I woke up this morning. Haha. I don't know what I did to deserve those grades, really. I know, I know I did'nt do very well but I'm happy lah seh. Haha. But I cannot understand how people who got like straight A's feel so happy. Like wah seh, your result slip damn boring to look at can!

OMG I cannot believe my cousin's getting engaged tmr. Like she's only 22 lah. Ok wait. she's not even 22 yet. Just now when I met her she seemed so relax seh. I feel scared and nervous for her! More of scared actually! Like a bit too young, can. Plus chances are the marriage will be held this year end. Eh cool two of my cousins getting married about the same time. But still I feel weird for the 22 year old one. haha anything ah okay.

And OMG my mum just love to do this to me! She LOVES to plan trips for me and tell me the bloody last minute. Yesterday, she told me WE're going to Penang on sunday and then we're going for some wedding at KL on saturday and sunday. ANDwhat she actually meant is that I won't be in Singapore for the whole freaking week ah!

But I wrote my schedule for next week already and I'm supposed to be available ah!! ): SO I tried sms-ing everyone I know from work to see if they're at work so they can check for me my schedule. I really did'nt want to call cuz I was scared they would fire me if I told them about it. Lol. But since no one was at work, I had no choice but to call ah. Urgh.

And it turns out I'm supposed to work on Tuesday (3pm-7pm(or is it 11pm?)), Wednesday (7pm-11pm), Thursday (12pm-6pm) and Friday (1pm-7pm). Siallah, four days can! FOUR DAYS! AND I'M GOING TO WASTE IT FOR A TRIP TO WHEREVER THAT IS!? ): ): ): I'm SAD lah CAN!! I don't know why I bother typing my schedule here, but whoever gets to take my work slot, ah they're just so so lucky ah.

ANYWAY, please pray with me! I want to get into TP's Veterinary Technology!! With the intake of only 30 (I don't why I keep on repeating that), my chances are some-what slim? Cuz I bet there are eeediots who are like 10 pointers and 11 pointers but think they're too cool for JC and so they'll apply for this course and, and and...take my spot. ):

Okay lah, I probably won't be online for a week. (That, might just kill me!) And hopefully I return with a new handphone? Sniff sniff, I deserve something for the distinctions, you know! Lol.

And I realise I won't be around for V-day. Feeza darling, don't be sad okay. I know you're sad cuz I made it clear to you that I'm straight yesterday night. HAHA. Ok la my best friend, I'm so proud of you! I feel like making you cry while you read this, (you know I'm very capable of that) but save those tears for my wedding day, k? HAHA. I love you (and atiqa and yaya and dhea and mira) a lot, asses!

Much loveee.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
11:44 PM

So, I did not vomit and Nadiah did not cry. But Atiqa did shit. haha. And, that was it man! We offically do not have any connections with Ping Yi anymore ah! Lol. Except for ofcourse, I still have yet to pay the school about $50 for whatever shits. Urgh.

Anyway, WOW.

Those sleepness nights of F&n-ing, tears cried, not watching the tv, not using the computer, staying back in school till 6.30pm, more tears cried, more sleepness night, caffeine, nescafe 3 In 1, almost-full-book memorising (maybe not), biology lab, mdm rubiah's lit lesson by the staircase, (insert chem tuition tutor's name)'s lessons, trying my very best to get interested in history and what nots.

Ahh, I feel like publishing my results. lol. Okay lah, I've got 3 distinctions, 3 B's and a single C. 12 points for L1R4 and 16 for L1R5. I REALLY DID'NT EXPECT THAT LA OKAY! Like really, I was telling myself if I get 14 points I'll be more than happy. Lol. But heh, 12 leh. 12 12 12. Lol. And I've got one bonus point so its 15 for Jc. But who cares about Jc anyway!?

Plus I very much qualify for Ngee Ann's Mass Communications. I NEVER THOUGHT I EVEN QUALIFY FOR THAT COURSE LA!! That was why I was not telling everyone I wanted that course. But really ah, I really want Veterinary Technology now! 30 intakes lah but okay what! They should be happy to take me in! No?

But then again, talk is cheap.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
1:35 AM

Friday, February 09, 2007

I'm at yaya's house now, we still have about twenty minutes left before we get our results! How exciting, can? Lol. Okay lets see. I can hear Nadiah scolding Nikita, her younger sister. Someone's stressed out eh.

Nadiah wants to cry, Atiqa wants to shit and I want to vomit. Urgh. I'm shit scared. We're shit scared.

To all those who wished me luck, Thanks a whole lot. (:

And, and and. Here it goes..

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
2:10 PM

The words you say to me are unlike anything that's ever been said
and what you do to me is unlike anything that's ever been
am i too obvious to preach it
you're so hypnotic on my heart.

oh it's what you do to me,
a thousand miles seems pretty far,
but even though they've got planes and trains and cars,
i'd walk to you if i had no other way.

and if i lived a thousand years you know,
i never could explain the way i lost my heart to you that day.
but if destiny decided i should look the other way
then the world would never know, the greatest story ever told
and did i tell you that i love you tonight?

i've got so much left to say,
if every simple song i wrote to you,
would take your breath away,
i'd write it all, and tell you why,
i want to love somebody like you.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
1:53 AM

Thursday, February 08, 2007

I swear that you don't have to go
I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow

I thought I could live in your arms
And spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you
To late, I'm sure and lonely
Another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now against me
You know the words so sing along for me baby

Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same

I thought with a month of apart
Together would find us an opening
And moonlight would provide the spark
And that I would stumble across the key
Or break down the door to your heart
Forever could see us not you and me
And you'd help me out of the dark
And I'd give my heart as an offering

And I will always remember you as you are right now to me
And I will always remember now

I can't forget you
I can't forgive you
So when this is over don't blow your composure baby
I can't forgive you

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
11:58 AM

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
9:13 PM

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

I'm so so so so SLEEPY can. I have been yawning eversince I started work and I just can't stop yawning up till now. Suddenly I feel so tired. Suddenly, after those sleepless nights of youtube-ing. But then again, when am I not sleepy? Hurhur. SUDDENLY, I've got no bloody mood to go to work tomorrow. I feel so tired lahhh. And sleepy. How how how?

Plus, my tagboard's being such a bitch. IF YOU CANNOT SEE ANY MESSAGES IN MY TAG BOARD, CLICK REFRESH! IF YOU STILL CAN'T SEE, CLICK REFRESH AGAIN! AND, AGAIN! And also, all those repeated tags are annoying! But I know its not your fault so keep tagging! (: If only I had fingers not as itchy. Hurhur.

Someone asked me what I want for Valentine's day this year. Well, I don't want anything, okay. I just don't want to be confused anymore. How? Is that possible? No ah, actually I want all those things in the list I've written at work. But all those things are actually one. Just one person.

A problem solved, a problem will emerge. I'm entwined. Confused, my heart is telling me to run. To where can I? Is this the fate I'm destined to collide? Must I try? A love I've lost, a love I'm trying to find. I hunger for your presence in my heart. For awhile. I'll fade away when I feel the time is right.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
9:29 PM

Monday, February 05, 2007

If only you can ever see, what I see, when I look at you.

I've just returned from the coffee club chalet and I'm so tired. Not like we did anything tiring but haha. Its just that I was out the whole bloody day (met up with Atiqa, yaya and dhea!) and I've got work again tomorrow morning at 10am. Siallah, I've never done opening before can. Woots, woots.

Also, the weirdest things have been happening. Haha. Mira and me, we've got tons of secrets. And we better get started with the whole criteria list for the perfect boyfriend/husband! (Girls, are just girls lah, okay?) Anyway, I'll be pretty rich as of tomorrow. Lol. I've finally banked in the cheques. (: Do I owe anyone anything? Okay, I really don't think so la ehhh. :D

If you've not realised, all the messages in my tagboard has been deleted. I dunno how, I guess I should just stop logging into the portal and act like a pro, trying to delete this and that. haha. Feeza, sorry you're not the first person to tag my board now. hurhur. Mr Nashoha just had to steal that honour off you. Too bad eh.

I'm so sick of getting the correct sms, from the wrong person.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
11:59 PM

Sunday, February 04, 2007

But i'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here. I don't care if it hurts. I want to have control. I want a perfect body. I want a perfect soul. I want you to notice when I'm not around. You're so fucking special. I wish I was special.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
11:19 PM