There are many lessons in life that only time can teach you, like how much you love someone. It's nearly impossible to know that, until you spend your days without them. And then there are those lessons that you can learn only through the beating of your heart, and through feeling such strong emotions that you can barely breathe. Then finally, the essence of time and the power of your heart crossing paths, and the only knowledge you're left with is the realization that time is the one thing that keeps you from letting go. No, it's never the embracing, or the kisses. Not the laughter or the tears, only time.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
10:18 PM

my life is as good as screwed.it really should'nt be but im so the depressed.haha.i really shouldnt be.i use to be an optimist.but lately..its just hard.i never let anything bad let me down but now..i cant help but feel sad over everything that have happened.and im afraid something similliar might happen.but i feel like its something i have no control over,i feel so useless.really.like there's nothig left in the world for me.im in a state of confusion pain and trauma.i have so many memories with so many people.mostly good.and for the bad ones,i actually could understood why it happened,but now...i've been running away from my problems.i just can never understand why im sucha a loser.

i want to run away from everything and everyone.no one will ever understand.and i dun expect anyone to ever do.

i guess im meant to live in sorrows,pain and tears.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
10:27 PM

i am going to KL tonight.for official reasons.haa.k so yeps.

went out with my aunties for lunch.they rawk!
they are bringing me to the tsunami concert soon.ahaha.
im so happay.dunno if bhumi band will be there.
shall ask him later.
welps so yea.
on my way home,bumped into hafiz.
thank god he was alone.
i keep bumping into him.
and the other we met in GEYLANG.
haha.and he was with rezza.
so yeps.hate it la.
but yea.watever.

so yeps.enuff of losers.
haha.
but yea,being a loser is a blessing.
ask farhan,he'll tell u.
haha.kaes bye lovelies ((=


shall blog when i return.
Love is all around you.
Love is knockin' outside the door.
Waitin' for you is this love made just for two
Keep an open heart and you'll find love again, I know.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
7:26 PM

in an ordinary place
at an unexpected moment
our eyes met

i know that the person
i am finding all this while
is YOU
it's fate which brought us together
it's fate which made us a pair
it's fate which we believed

3hundred 6ty 5 days
8thousand 7hundred 6ty hours
5hundred 25thousand 6hundred minutes
315hundred 36thousand seconds
every day ; every hourevery minute ; every second
i am loving you

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
7:12 PM

i'm going to the zoo.soon.i love him.i love you.you make me wanna lala.haha.your'e sucha loser laa.ahha.but i guess you're a rockstarr too.ahha.stop irritaing me or i'll never stop whacking you.haha.shooshing whoosings.haha.

bye lovelies. ((=



i'm in love with a loser . i'm in love with a rockstarr . i <3>
those are the littles things that make me love you.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
12:59 PM

" Aku junjung petuahmu, cintai dia yang mencintaiku "
i love the one who loves me.


haha.am talking to revalina,alif's indon gf.alif bastard laa i swear.haha.hard to talk to her laa.she ask me questions about alif in indon.she's not sure if he's true to her.haa.she should be.ok shussh.now i wish i didnt add her.aha.she's nice la but its hard to reply her.and sometimes i dont understand her.so yeps.

welps i actually stayed at home and finished up all my maths hmwk.aha.im sucha good girl.ahah.gosh still have malay and bio and chem rubbish to do and f&n.wosh.shossh laa.haa.going to johore tmr.i'll shop there and get a lot of things thats for sure.ahha.ok so yepss.haha.im bored.fuck laa.haha.

im still confused of my own feelings.im sure i am in love with him but he is still bothering me.everytime i look at him i dont feel weak like i use to instead i feel confused.confused if there really is anything left behind for us.but when i look into his eyes i know its impossible.besides,i wont let someone else who have hurt me a lot of times hurt me ever again.he broke me down but never aagain will he hear me cry out to him.never.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
10:57 PM

all left of you for me to hold on to.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
9:48 PM

who am i kidding when i say i'm over you.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
11:18 PM

I think the hardest part of this whole situation is that neither of us knows what's going on, neither of us knows what the other is thinking & we are both trying to make decisions based on information we don't know.


today was rather stupid.ahha.welps first thing in the morning was worried cus didnt have mc for being absent yesterdae.so i made up some shit like i had cramps and mdm noorzura was like ok.but next time she wanna see parent letter.like hello,how many times have i been absent without a valid reason and the conversation has always been the same.ahha.except for last fridae thought.i was marked as truancy.ms teo was crazy that day buy well who cares.hahs.den mr martin had to say that for those who fail 3 or more subjects,you parent will be called.i was like fuck la.and that got me worried the whole day.aaha.maths first period was like crazy,everyone was sitting anywherre we wanted.aha.butt then mr malek went in and he realised.and we were like its free sitting for today.ahha.tat was lame laa.den he sat beside me and mice.haha.he damn lame laa.and funneh.ahah.and mr lee was like nice jus now..actually could understand his nonsense.aha.ok then he was talking to the whole class laa abt how badly we did for maths.and he atually pointed me out.he said that i can do maths fast but im playful.yes he said PLAYFUL.grrrr.aha.k laa its true.and he said that i should sit alone in class.wtf ucker right.ahah.but yeps.and watever he said after that made me realise some things.3

wenna chem tuition and guess who i met? kartik! hahaa. my old cockroach fren.ahah.loser la that guy.ahaha.but yeaps.i had funn in tuition aha. saw him and hafiz when i was about to go.ahha.k so yeaa.he look so like tempe.qhahaha.k shussh.

ok so my father jus came back.and im tired.ahh.hmm so yeapss.bye lovables.i love you.

mat story.love story.money story.my story.OUR story.

I live for those little [ m o m e n t s ] when . . . <3

he steals my heart over and over again andhe doesnt even know it.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
11:57 PM

They say memories are golden
Maybe this is true
But I never wanted memories
I only wanted you.
When something bad happens to someone you love,
it puts everything into perspective.
The world stops and nothing else matters.
You really truly realize just how much you love them.
Every day I wake up, knowing you won't be there
Every night I cry myself to sleep, thinking it isn't fair
You're the one I truly love, the one that I belong to
You're the one I want to have,
Can't you see I love you?
Shine upon this broken heart
All it asks is for just one wish
All it wants is to stop feeling like this.
Life will go on with or without him,
so I detangled myself from his arms and started to walk away
knowing that I will find myself again someday.

-i wrote this some time ago when i was trying to get over rezza.just thought of sharing.ahha.bye lovables.i love you.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
10:22 PM

- Precious love Burning so deeply Shining completely For you.


Ok so wenna buy bhumiband's cd.aha.im so into them!! (awi nye pasal ah ni..)..hah..so yeh.they really have like super great songs laa.haha.cant believe I bought it.ahah.k so yeps.life has been great.i guess.ahah.didnt do that well for common test.expected..but yeaa.promise I'll do well for the next test la k.aaha.k shuush la.im sucha in a hyper mood cus I have a big bottle of coke beside me.ahah.im addicted laa.k watever.

So yeh.many things have happened.everyone have been changing and I dun get it.hehs.talked to atiqa yesterdae.like so long since we did it k.den yea things sort of solved but somethings..hard to be solved.i guess some things are just not meant to be.but it hurts when you own group of friends are like keeping things from each other.i mean,wtf is mezmerised for when everyone acts that waY? Theres a lot of lies going on.and I bet she's not the only one lying. Mesmerized used to be me atiqa dhea shalu alif yaya fiza farhan alif.we were the closest.and then ofcourse some others have to come and blah we are just not the same.i promised her I will not be close to them and not abandon her.now look whats happening.i dun mind friendship but it feels like shes more close to them.and it hurts.i hate what you are doing,shalu.i love you,you are a great friend but I cannot take the lies.it hurts to out so much trust on someone u call friends and realise they are lying.why cant everybody be friends?i feel betrayal.yes I do.but I gueess nothing can be done.no one urges to solve it the way I do.so welps let it be.im fading away.it hurts to have friends like that.i love all of you-atiqa,dhea,ayee,alif,yaya,fiza and shalu.but it hurts.we are not like how we use to be.maybe im the only one feeling this way.but whatever.believe me,its NOT pms.i reallay have this feeling in my heart.i need time on my own.pls if you guys feel like I am trying to busted you, sorray.

k so yeaah.i love you.shmuackx.

Disini ku berdiri memandang wajahmu

Yang menyejukkan hati kelam ku

Kadang tidak terasa ketulusan hati

Yang tlah kau berikan padaku

Hadirmu tlah membawaku ke hidup baru

Karenamu kan ku nyatakan janji kita

Oh kasih...usah kau ragukan tulus cintaku

Bukakan pintu hatimu untuk ku

Percayalah pada ku

Mungkin tidak terasa gejola asmara

Yang terbendung di dalam hatiku

Selalu aku terkasar menggores mu tanpa sadar

Maafkan ku...sayangku

Hadirmu tlah membawaku ke hidup baru

Karenamu kan ku nyatakan janji kita

Oh kasih..usah kau ragukan tulus cintaku

Bukakkan pintu hatimu untuk ku

Percayalah pada ku...

Oh kasih…hadirkan cinta didalam hidupku ini

Berikan sayap agar ku terbang tinggi ohhh..

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
7:52 PM

I would give up everything
Before I'd separate myself from you
After so much suffering
I finally found unvarnished truth
I was all by myself for the longest time
So cold inside
And the hurt from the heartache would not subside
I felt like dying
Until you saved my life
Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
My ev'ry wish and ev'ry dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
'Cause, baby, I'm so thankful I found you
I will give you ev'rything
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do
To ensure your happiness
I cherish ev'ry part of you
'Cause, without you beside me, I can't surive
Don't want to try
I'f you're keeping me warm each and ev'ry night
I'll be all right
'Cause I need you in my life
See, I was so desolate
Before you came to me
Looking back, I guess
It shows that we were destined to shine
After the rain to appreciate
The gift of what we have
And I'd go through it all over again
To be able to feel this way
Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
My ev'ry wish and ev'ry dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Sweet baby, I'm so thankful I found you
Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
My baby, I'm so thankful I found you
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
My baby, I'm so thankful I found you

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
3:24 PM

NuratiqaEsmerelda;
atique_*
4th December (:

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