Monday, November 29, 2004
[music]-[sorray-ashlee simpsons]
-fallen angels at my feet,
whispered voices at my ear,
death before my eyes,
lying next to me i fear.-
k life is extremly good.whaha.yeps.well atleast everything's well laa.school's cool.friends always there especially my babehs.familay-great.i love my family la k.although they pisses me off.i love my mum alot.ya.although she is probarly the woman i've quarreled with the most time.well ya.but im the closest to her.hahas.and i miss my dad sooo much.he's coming back soon.for my burfdae.yeapx.having some open house.wee.jus for my burfdae k.how sweet ryte?i love my dad ah.alot.not only cus of this aah.but cause if it wasnt of him i wouldnt be here 2dae.yeaa.i will be some screw kid with screw family.k maybe screw kid still.but not screwed familayy.hahhhhs..kaess.now u noe wat a good gurl i actually am.hhahh.
so atiqa and me havin a pit.actually for my burfdae but havin it on the 6th.umph yeaa.weee.k excited.yepx.urr talking to dhea and farhan.whahahah.miss them siaah.like suddenly.hahas.k lame siaah me.so yepxx..tmr everyone coming along.wee.hanging outz at my house.and sista wee goin gothic.wat the fuck right.hahahas.cute siaah she.well yeaaps.my sis so surely cute uuh.ahahas.so yehs.oo..farhan also wearin black.woah hot-gotchic couple.hahahas.k lame..decided to leave this post white.so its diff.cus im happay.k lame.haha.lame.y ah everytime i talk to someone sure say i lame one.or crazy.or retarded.haha.u all cursing me aah.dun leh.later real2 how?u all also sad.hahahs.
shit laa.still havent tell mum abt 302.yea havent.stupid siaa.i scared k.i mean i ok wif it but she..?i also dunno. i guess i really2 have to tell her tmr.how siaah?arrrrrrrrrrrrgh.anotheer cat fght.but i dun care.i am happay wif it.its my life anyway.shes jus around to help.i lead my life.uuh k.i miss my dad.haha.k shuttup.he's comin back soon anywayy.
well yeaa.i was in the taxi and passes 428.k laa.actually i hav to pass 428 like EVERYDAY.when i go out laa.ummph ya.but yesterdae i was looking and i jus feltt that i should leave the pass behind.i shuld jus forget everything that happened there and all.i should jus forget there was something abt rezza.i shuld jus u noe,pretend nothing actually happen.and enjoy life the way it is now.yeaps.cus i noe that some things are not meant to be and pple are not always true to you.i have always been a gullibe child but hey now i find it hard to trust at all.and it kinda save me a few times.so i guess wat he did to me has a reason.to make me grow up?hahahas.see so life's not bad after all.
and next yr i really will study hard.i shall pay attention in class.it does help k.i noe.i helps alot if u pay attention in class unless ur teacher jus wont stop babbling rubbish.whaha.i hav a feelin my form teacher will be ms raniy.god blood sucker.but den agen considering the pple in 302.i think i noe who will suck who's blood.hahas.my classmates nest yr jus rawk laa k.i sure will have a great time.good luck to all the teacherss.whhaha.rukshana's teaching me f&n.i noe cus i asked ms irene siaah.see.she is one good teacher who will get heart attack soon.k not cursing her la but who caress.hahas.
i had a dream sly won.i didnt watch it happen in my dream but somehow he won.whah.so i dun think he will.my dream always tell me the oppposite.jus like the class thing.i dream i was posted to 301. hahas.yepaax.but wasnt right.so yeaass.i wish taufik will win.watch the show last week abt him and his mum.sweet seh.umph i guess he needs the monay.but then agen sly need to money to help his mum pays off her scandal money thingy.pity sly also.but sadly only one will be named singapore idol. the other has alreadi became an idol to many.so i hav no wish of who to win SI.whoever wins,i guess he needs the money better.k not like its a money game.but yea.u get wat i mean.ryte?
haha.well k.i guess i should shuttup.yeaa.well yea.bye people.love you all.miss me k.k wat rubbish.aye nvm.hahas.BYE!
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
8:13 PM
Sunday, November 28, 2004
whaha.omg its so fucking early.i woke up at like 9 plus k.cus some pple frm malaysia wants to come to my house.siallah want to come come so early..i want to sleep also no peace.and i slept late k yesterdae..abt 3 or so..wahah.well yesterdae watched a malay horror show yesterdae wif my bro..till quite late..around 1 plus..den i came onoine..or i think i was alreadie online..i was frustrated k.i mean,had mood swings.so ya.haha.but was nice talkin to him.sweet la he.whaha.and ya u noe me and sweet words and all.hhahas.but aaah.so cute and all.my my..haha.omg really la so sweet.whahaha.k atiqa should cut the crap.shall not let sweet words fool me agen.
welll yaa.gtg..bye!
u are my only one_
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
11:55 AM
Sudah lama kumengenalinya
Dan daku menganggap dialah saudara
Walaupun apa saja yang aku mampu
Aku membantunya apa yang perlu
Sehingga daku tersisih
Berbalah dengan kekasih
Kau kata teman sejatiLebih sukar dicari
Memang benar orng berkata
Harus awas dan waspada
Pada yang manis dibibir
Aku tersingkir
Kawan yang ku benar harap-harapkan
Bukan jujur seperti yang kusangkakan
Kawan kini makan kawan
Ku dalam keadaan teraniaya
Kawan makan kawan
Kini hilang segala yang ku ada
Ku hilang harta, cinta, maruah, muka
Kau racunkan fikiranku dan nya
Kau ambil kesempatan merapatinya
Sehingga daku tersisih
Berbalah dengan kekasih
Kau kata teman sejati lebih sukar dicari
Memang benar orang berkata
Harus awas dan waspada
Pada yang manis di bibir
Aku tersingkir
Aku dah terkena dengan hasutannya
Dan rupa-rupanya ada agendanya
Kekasih ku pergi kerna batu api
Kawan ku sendiri membakar ku ini
Setelah ku berikan kepercayaan
Tak terlintas di fikiran kau buat bukan-bukan
Semua tipu helah tak akan terjadi lagi
Tanyalah diri apa yang sudah jadi
Kini kau tahu bagaimana kurasa
Menahan peritnya bisa
Semua ini tidak kuduga
Kawan makan kawan
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
11:35 AM
Friday, November 26, 2004
ooh god i think i am in love.whaha.k weird siaah.my knees go weak when we meet and i hav this feeling everytime he comes online and i got jealous when i heard somethings abt him.its like a begining of a love.so long since i felt this.the lat time was..well yes `150104.but its so strange.whaha.he's so nice and all.and whaha.k la.i really dunno aiite.
k laa.tmr getting the class posting.i am not going.nope.lazy ah.and they having ncc tmr.so yeh.how stupid.i mean,the ncc boys are not k.so yeap.k la like big deal.whaha.well talking to him now.rubbish la.whaha.and dhea forcing to call her cus farhan on the line.later la i call.haha.
was talking to shalu and dheaa and farhan and alif yesterdae online.haha.we were bored.so decided to play a game.the name game.hahahah..k that was lame la.and we all put the same display pic.the innoncence lost one.cute siah.then we were like if someone chage the pic we dun fwn that person.haha.everyone became childish for a moment..act cute laa.haha.
weeeee~.k la.i guess should stop now k.oh yeh havent finish doin atiqa'a blog.haha.later la k darling.BYE!
Every time your near baby
I get kinda crazy in my head for you
I don't know what to do
And oh baby I get kinda shaky when they mention you
I just lose my cool
My friends tell me something has come over me
And I think I know what it is
I think I'm in love
Boy I think that I'm in love with you
I'll be doin silly things when it comes to you
Boy I think that I'm in love with you
I've been tellin all my friends what I feel for you
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
12:36 AM
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
i wish i had much more confidence and just tell you i hate you straight to your face.i wish i could tell you how much you mean to me.i wish i could tell you every bit about your smile i bet u didnt notice.i wish i could tell you that i honestly and truly love you.i wish i could give you everything u've told me you wanted.i wish i had been a better lover .i wish i could tell you every single thing i find attractive in you that no other person in their very own eyes has seen.then again i bet u fcking dont care about me.i bet ur just thinking i'm one more of those "girls" than u'll end up hooking with.i bet u think i'm pathetic.i bet u think i'm lying when i say i love you everytime we're alone.i bet you dont even love me.i bet u never did.i fcking dont noe why we even got together,o wait i know coz I WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU.I WAS IN LOVE WITH EVERYTHING ABT YOU,AND I DIDNT CARE WAT OTHERS SAY ABT YOU.i think ur fcking ego or smth.coz u want pretty girls by ur side to look good.am i not good enough? i have so much memories of you.its just killing me.i wish someone wld take all this away from me so i wont have to think of you again.
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
6:39 PM
Aku..
Tak ingin kau merana..
Jua ku tak mahu derita..
Namun apalah upaya..
Menentukan semua..
Kasih...
Disini pelabuhan..
Aku lepaskan kau ke sana..
Walaupun hati perit terasa.
Inikah kesudahannya..?
Ini bernama cintamu..?
Inikah kesetiaan yang telah kau janjikan..?
Tega benar dirimu..
Mebohongi hatiku ini..
Sedangkan aku benar cintakanmu..
Sampainya hatimu..
Bersandiwara dibelahkanku..
Memadu cinta dengan jajatan..
Yang baru...
Andai..
Sudah ditakdirkan..
Kasihan ku tak kesampaian..
Pergilah oh sayangku moga kau gembira..
Inikah kesudahannya..?
Ini bernama cintamu..?
Inikah kesetiaan yang telah kau janjikan..?
Tega benar dirimu..
Membohongi hatiku ini..
Sedangkan aku benar cintakanmu.
Sampainya hatimu..
Bersandiwara dibelahkanku..
Memadu cinta dengan jajatan..
Yang baru...
Andai..
Sudah ditakdirkan..
Kasihan ku tak kesampaian..
Pergilah oh sayangku moga kau gembira..
Pergilah oh sayangku moga kau gembira..
Pergilah oh sayangku moga kau bahagia..
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
6:19 PM
omg.i forget to say.HE asked me out!!!!!!!!
whahaha.
*HE does not refers to rezza pls.
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
2:03 AM
song- only one by Yellowcard
mood- black is beautiful
- kiss my bum will ya? -
whaha.kaes i love this skin.wont change anymore.yesterdae was crappy.i cried my way to sleep.am getting really moody this days.mood swings.pms i tell u.well yeaap its about time anyway.whaha.but thingys are really crappy laa.but watever. im in my black mood.well yeaaps.went out.wore my black esprit pants black giordano top black eye liner black eye shadow black slippers.black is not a happay colour.cus i am not.well anyone got a problem with me can jus fuck off.i dun need u to destroy my life.its already almost destroyed.crumbled.everything but wonderful that sort of thing.
watched the incredibles.great show ah.really funnay.make me laugh for once.whaha.and while waiting for the show i saw bryan.whahahha.coincidence.whahah.well yea.i think he watched it too.well yea.show ended around 9 plus.walked around tm.well actually only went esprit laa.saw the black eye shadow.it was nice.really black and not glittery.the ones i hav frm maybelline and za are glittery.so yea.i think i should get it laa.only 14 bugs anyway.so yea mayb tmr go get it and i need mascara also my maybelline on has dry out and the clinique one is not water-proof.tat was how my mum knew i cried yesterdae.whaha.crap.den was running late cus suppose to meet my mum at bedok.so took mrt.and i met bryan agen.whaha.i thought he live in pasir ris?how come he took the same train as me?i dunno.well yea.then met my mum.we went to eat.at kfc.i payed for everythong.whaha.good girl i tell u.well yea.then nabil called.so long never meet him siaah.k crazy laa i think we met on sundae.but hey he's my bro la i use to see him like everydae.and now only weekends.whahaha.so yea.then went home.sweetie was'nt home.so went to find him.apperently sweetie has a girlfwen.whaha.so cute my cat.she lives at my blk level 6.my mum fwen cat laa.wahha.cute ah.den got home and yea went online.
tmr is her burfdae.k actually todae.best wishes ya.
it suddenly hit me that i am actually still missing rezza.well yea.if i could turn back time,i would make it last.i wish i didnt do the huge mistake.i noe.i have a huge ego.i didnt want to be seen as weak.but i didnt hav to sae those things.and hurt him.if only i can take back the words.whaha.k shuttup.
im sleepy.i think i need to sleep.
BYE!
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
1:55 AM
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
k so i am suppose to go out i am not suppose the computer i am not suppose to use the fone i am only suppose to sit at home and rot and clean the house.yeaa i am a girl ryte so i must sit and sit and sit and sit and rot and rot and sit and clean more.excuse me i would rather die.yea i feel like dying now.why do people make promises one time and then they change their mind jus like that maybe trying to kill u or somehing.i dun get it.is everyone trying to kill me? maybe its better when i die?
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
12:17 AM
Monday, November 22, 2004
Last night I saw you as I stood in the rain
Brought me right back to that feeling again.
I tried to hide the tears in my eyes
But you did not see as you walked on by.
Tried to forget ya, I tried to move on.
But the deeper I’m feeling, the harder I fall.
Nothing else matters at all. let me tell you.
You don't know what love is till you lose it.
You don't know what you’ve got till it slips away.
Leaves you alone in the dark and takes you and tears you apart.
You don't know what love is till it breaks your heart.
Till it breaks your heart.
Sometimes I think back when our love was new.
The crazy things that we used to do.
How could love that's so right turn to something so wrong
Still can't believe that you’re really gone.
Wish I could stop all these thoughts in my head
Wish I could take back the words that I said
It's a lesson I'll never forget.
let me tell you.
You don't know what love is till you lose it.
You don't know what you’ve got till it slips away.
Leaves you alone in the dark.
takes you and tears you apart.
You don't know what love is till it breaks your heart.
Ooh ooh. yeh.
Love has no season, no beginning nor end.
No rhyme or reason, to the way the story ends.
No way of knowing how a broken heart mends.
Still we keep falling time and time again.
You don't know what love is till you lose it.
You don't know what you’ve got till it slips away.
Leaves you alone in the dark.
takes you and tears you apart.
You don't know what love is till it breaks your heart.
Till it breaks your heart.
ah ooh.
till it breaks your heart.
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
10:16 PM
Sunday, November 21, 2004
HAHA.k i LOVE that song laa.so yaa.
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
7:18 PM
Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only my only one
Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
7:17 PM
Saturday, November 20, 2004
whaha.i jus wanna remind people who hate sly to jus shuttup.hhaa.u dun have to hate hiim as much as how much i hate oli k.he made it that faar.and look where u are.so shuttup.not that i love him laa.i prefer taufik.but still.pity him siaah. many of his fans from the start are now supporting taufik.bastard siaaal.he's a nice guy too laa k.
kkk enuff babbling.so yaa.met taufik and sly.rox i tell u.both of em laa.how i WISH i will get to go to the finals.shalu sae she getting me the tics for my burfdae.how i wish.how i wish.how i wish.someone remind herr k.k laa.wont keep my hopes high.just to see it crash upon my eyes.haha.k rubbish.
so yeaa..
BYE!! taufik batisah rawks!
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
9:05 PM
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Guess mine is not the first heart broken
My eyes are not the first to cry
I'm not the first to know there's
Just no getting over you
You know I'm just a fool who's willing
To sit around and wait for you
But baby can't you see there's nothing left for me to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
But now there's no where to hide
Since you pushed my love aside
I'm outta my head hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you
My head is saying fool forget him
My heart is saying don't let go
Hold on to the end, that's what I intend to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
But now there's no where to hide
Since you pushed my love aside
I'm outta my head hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
11:54 PM
A girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves which is why it is so hard for her to get over him after the relationship's over .
i'm sorry but...
i love u
i still do.
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
11:25 PM
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
heya! well ya. my blog's finally have got a tag board.thanks to khairi! thanks ya.u rock!! haha.
well.now i noe why the 2nd dae of hari raya was sucha a bum.cus it was the 15th.well yea.10 months.stupid siaah.for 10 months stupid things has been happening on te 15th.fuck kaes.suppose to be a happpay dae.but screw him laa.jus have to make my life terrible.i wish 150104 didnt happen.but i cant stop it i guess.gosh.spare me.im sick in the head,i am sure.and omg.yesterdae.i had a dreams.k wait.ihad 3 dreams.all fucking hurting.first one was abt my grandmere.she was vry sick.second one was my father.he was sick at the hospital and had to go for an operation and the third one i saw rezza.well,interesting i tell you.not only him.also feeza and rian and hafiz straight and the normal acad gals.eww.yes.haha.yes man.well it was a strange dream.rezza was bad.hafiz straight was nice to feeza and me.and we played a prank on rian.haha.and she fell down.and rezza was angry with us.watever for.haha.so yea.strange dream huh.well yes.fuck laa.watever its suppose to mean.HAHA.
talked to fatihah from our school just now.the sec 5 one.haha.he lame ah.haha.well ya.i am so bored k.haha.
k laa.really nothing at the moment to say.oh yea..to atiqa sista pls pls pls pls pls make the RIGHT decision.i dun want to see u sad ever agen k.take care and u noe i love you.
BYE! .shmuckx! love ya'll. muah!
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I have got no where to run
The night goes on
As I am fading away
I am sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
9:50 PM
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
its already like the third dae of hari raya and im still not getting any.haha.kaes rubbish.well yeaa.the first day of hari raya was great laaa. i woke up at like 8 pluss and went online..and then mummy ask to bath so i bath laa..and then i changed into home clothes cus my father and uncle and brothers still not back from the prayerss ryte then i watched tv..dunno wat show also siaah..haha..then they returned so i got changeed..wore my purple baju kurung.love it siiah.well yeaa then we went to my granny's house which is the same blk as mine laa..and my granny gave me like a whole paper bag of gifts..haha..so sweet of her..and then my uncle fetched us..with the new carr..siallah i love that car can..beautifully elegent. and we went to my granmere's house in siglap...it was raining then and we had to get the car into the house or else we will be drenched right so while trying to get the car into the house,it hit the gate.haha..and there was a slight scratch on the carr but whatever la.and hiash the sad part.my granny was like crying siaah when my mum met her asking for forgiveness..why u ask me.cus of some ungrateful uncles and aunti i have. i mean,my grandmere give them money to survive siaah and mind u,alot of money and they dont even come to visit her on hari raya! basket right.so surely she feel down right.haiz.but there is nothing anyone can do to stop them i guess.they are adults.old adults i tell u canr rhey even think for themselves?and then people started coming to her house and all..and we left at like 4 plus only and start visiting..there was like my parents my aunt my uncle my 2 brother and my cousin. as obviously we cant fit into the car laa ryte so me and my brothers had to take cab.for me for only once.haha..i act2 tired laa then got to sit in the car.overall first dae was fun except for the fact that some people dont appreciate my granny at all.i hate this people k.cus i love my granny alot and ya so do my mum..well ooh yea then after we left my auntie's house we wanted to go to my uncle's house which was nearby laa..and it was like 10 plus almost 11 but they were not at home yet and they told us to go there late late.. so we went to my house and ate ate ate..and one of my auntiee came..and then we watched tv..until like 12 plus we were like lets go to my uncle's house since he say go there late late right..haha..and we reached there at like one i think..sat there..chit chat..and then i realised that the other time when i and fana and mice and feeza and fiza went to simei that night just to meet some guys haha it was my unlcle's block siall..haha..ofcourse never tell anyone laa..and then we got home..slept at like 3 plus..and my untie and uncle sleep at my house..
second dae which is yesterdae laa right was shitty i tell u.woke up late at like 1 plus..and my auntie uncle father brother all went out alreadie..then i went online..went to bath..and my auntie called sae wanted to fetched us..so yeaa..waited waite waited until like five plus then they came..got changed prayed and all..and we went outz...went to only 2 house laa..then we went to my granmere house in siglap..and she got really sick.its scary i tell u.i get really scared when my granny's ill.cus my chances are my mummy will get sick too.cus she love her mummy like alot. and well yeaa...she was super sick.kaes i think i said that laa but yeaa it was scary.and then my granny was crying all the way.makes my mum cry.and when i saw my mum so sad i started to cry.i mean,i was so scared.of what,i think u noe.but yeaa.and my mummy and auntie was by her side when she was lying down..my auntie was almost crying too.tears in her eyes but she was strong,fight it back.she was suppose to go back to kl that night.with my father and uncle.so i guess she dont want to make things worse by telling my granny.and then my mum asked me to call my house and talk to samir telling him that we arent going home and there is food and all..but instead my father picked up the fone.and he started scolding me. and i started crying..couldnt talk to him cus of the tears and asked my mum to talked..and fuck la they started quarreling..stupid siaah.make me cry more.and then my mum was like we have to go home..by thattime grandmere was alreadie sleeping.so we left.with my auntie my uncle and my cousin.i was crying all the way siaal.and when reached home it suck laa.i just wished i didnt go home.my parents didnt talk to each other.and my father called me and ask me where is the pants he asked to be ironed.and my mum took it but it was a little wrinkled so she ironed somemore. then my father asked me if iron alreadie i sae just a minute and he was like "nvm..i dun need use that pants.." and i started crying more..i mean,it hurts k when they are fighting and i am in the middle.and to make things worst today's my father's burfdae.and when they left yesterdae i was like jus crying like nobody's business.and my auntie hugged me she sae "dun worry everything is okae"..and i wonder,how long that will take to subside.its like when something's getting right,something has to happen to hurt me more.i am sick of this.i want to be happy.to be care free.i have everything, family,friends u name it.and yet i am not happy.perharps cus i am not devoted to god.i try to be.but somethings,i just cannopt help it.
look i was babbling away but hey that is really the situation of my life.such a mess.no broom to sweep it all away. haha.k rubbish.but yea.was talking to farhan.he rocks laa.haha.and also to sarah nyet.she rocks too! kaes its just that there's no one else online laa.where is dhea?she ah..at times like this she will dissapper.as in celebration time.heh. miss you laa.kaes rubbish siall
k laa.BYE!shmuakxx! =)
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
10:48 PM
How do you love someone
That hurts you oh so bad
With intentions good
Was all he ever had
But how do I let go when
I've Loved him for so long and I've
Given him all that I could
Maybe love is a hopeless crime
Giving up what seems your lifetime
What went wrong with something once so good
How do you find the words to say
To say goodbye
If your heart don't have the heart to say
To say goodbye
I know now I was naive
Never knew where this would lead
And I'm not trying to take away
From the good man that he is
But how do I let go when I've
Loved him for so long and I've
Given him all that I could
Was it something wrong that we did
Because others infiltrated
What went wrong with something once so good
How do you find the words to say
To say goodbye
If your heart don't have the heart to say
To say goodbye
Is this the end are you sure
How should you know when you've never been here before
It's so hard to just let go
When this is the one and only love I've ever known
love you all, a t i q a ♥
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
6:24 PM
Thursday, November 11, 2004
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! im finally updating huh. HAHA! so bored.
weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!kaes shut up. well todae is....GREAT!!! hahas.....esp. singapore idol.kaes omg i suck siaah dunno what i talking about.haish~
HAHA!i reallie lazy laaa wanna write about my trip to kl.very boring.i spent alot of my time sleeping actually.hahas..but i shop alot too.wee.i love shopping there.so cheap i tell u the stuff.and omg the esprit in sunway primid is HUGE!! makes me feel like want to sleep there i swear!!ahhas..and yeaa we went to view my mum's condo god its so SMALL! seriouslyyy!!! it has condo facilities like normal laa but the house is tinyyyy!!! HAHA.but i love the swimming pool.each building has only 55 units and each building has its own private swimming pool and tennis court and gym and library and park and dining areaa and blahblahblah.haha..mummy's buying a 3 storey semi-detachedd..she's like crazy over housee..dunno where we will end up stayingg.hhahas..
i am so bored dunno wat to do.hahaaa.. kaes.here i go.
How can it be easy to forget you
when I think about you all the time
I never know how I miss you when I never had you,
you were never mine
I move on, but I can't go on without you
Said I try, don't know why, what to do without you
Can't move on, can't move on
It'd be cool if we never met, if we never locked eyes
Then I'd feel so happy, not knowing you're so fine
I move on, but I can't go on without you
Said I try, don't know why, what to do without you
Can't move on, can't move on
I get so nervous when I'm around you there's nothing I can sayI wish you'd get outta my head, I think about you every dayI
move on, but I can't go on without you
Said I try, don't know why, what to do without you
Can't move on, can't move on without...
I move on, but I can't go on without you
Said I try, don't know why, what to do without you
Can't move on, can't move on, can't move on, without you
kaes..me have to go..i have not mood for anything.hahas.luv ya'll..
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
6:25 AM
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
yea,im back.now thats great.i need some sleep.update later.
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
9:36 PM
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
im listening to christopher singing angels! omg so cute and nice! he makes me love that song like a lot. hahas..nice siaah.i love chris siaah.he somehow can put a smile on my face. i was looking for that song in kazaa but couldnt find.but hey,i got chris singging so who cares ryte?? ahas. chris rox laaaaa.he really can make me smile kaes? hhaas..listening to his voice is like WOW! esp. when i watch his videos over and over agen.he rox laa.put a big smile on my face,that guy.but he have'nt come online since the 30th of last month..wonder where chris went.but hey,i've got HIS voice so who cares ryte.and oh yeaa lots and lots of his picture i tell u..he can sing robbie williams' song,i realise.kaes many dun agree wif me.but chris make me smile like otherr and do u ever make me smile like how chris does it? maybe bcus he's so sweet and i tend to fall for sweet guyys.sweet looks,sweet smile,sweet personality and yeaa,sweet words..esp. sweet words actually. HAHA! well thats me laa.omg yeaa man i actually fall for sweet guys.kaes i'll watch out laa kaes. hahaas. but whateverrr.not like chris will ever come close. ahahas. sometimes i wish more people like chris will exist in my life.its not only the looks but the good personality.I LIKE!! hahas.christopher michael lee. makes me smile like no otherrrr
oh kaes i am alone at home.jus now mice and farhana came..hahas..they so excited to see my hair.. and yaaa...the two first person to see it.ooh kaes no big deal laa ryte..so they sat awhile and then they left for 428...and yeaa i gave fana a pizza that i made...i was disgusted by it..but i dunnoe laa abt herr...hahas..well yea 428's rezza's blk..so long neverr hang out there..but then agen i wish i never will do it agen..to many dark black memories i shall not explain.hahas.and then i bathed.. got changed and here i am.mummy went to buy food and still not back yet. samir was at jurong the otherr time i called him and nabil will be back at like 6 plus laterr..hmm yeaa..so leaving tonight.. for kl laa..not leaving this place. kaes what rubbish me.HAHA!so yaa...i have only like seventy two in my wallet..i will be broke soon i swearr..will get some thick magazine to read on the train..ahahas..damn shuld hav gone to mph or something ryte but arrr nvm.
arrr mum's back and she wants me to go somewhere wif herr..boring seeh..aigght maybe later i will update maybe not.so yaa.to atiqa,ur 14th burfdae so soon.i will sure miss u hunnay.kaes i guess we're leaving soon.so yaa...will miss msn will miss blogging will miss everything here. dhea,sae bye for me to shalu nad farhan alif soyah and atiqa...will miss u guys and will get something for u pple and iffah also!weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ byes hunnay buns!
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
8:18 PM
i wish somebody's here. okae okae,i will sleep NOW!!!
a part of me will always be with you*-
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
5:14 PM
its like 5 plus,and i am not asleep.i cant sleep! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???????????? i miss rezza,yes i do.no more sweet good night messages.madness,i tell u.sweet sweet sweet!!!!!!!
those who have not linked me,link me! and spread the words..btw i miss my dhea and atiqa anf feeza.hahas..dunnoe y thinking about them at this time.omg i think i should sleep.and this time,i really will sleep!
In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
5:09 PM
All my life I've been sorry for something
Something gets me nothing and nothings such a waste
All this time I've been sayin I'm sorry
But why should I be sorry for all of your mistakes
hahas...its 3:40,mummy waking up at 4..oh wait a min! i did not set her alarm! aiiights will jus wake her up at 4 laa..hahas..yep,still using the computerr while everyone else thinks im asleep..samir's not asleep i think..but well,maybe he is..he has got a big test tmrr..so bored to be online at this hour.but then agen its good laa..very peaceful..dun need to block any body to get some peace..hahas..not that i always do laa..well,i was looking through jean yip's website and then i saw this link on student and i thought it had the profiles of all the students cus u noe the guy who did my hair was a student. but paiseh me.it was like some weird thing about how to be a student in jean yip academyy..lame siaah..hahas..i guess im not overr the well,crush-inest i have on him and on christopher lee...hahah..me dun want to get over christopher lee can? hahahx..my photobucket is like there is AN album jus for pictures of him.Crush,i tell u..
Rezza.believe it or not,i am NOT over him.kaes wait a min i CANNOT get over him. i tried and i tried but its like the memories and his words,i just cannot forget.why?i dunno.it has been like 10 months since we met but hey,i remember the exact date and time and venue and jus how we met.i guess it was all an illusion but hey,who cares.maybe we were just suppose to meet to well......be friends? but i still hate the dark memories of us.painful,i tell u.but what is there that i can do ryte?he's just a picture i see in my mind.a voice i hear in my mind.he is someone great but somehow i did not cherish him.i loved him but people around who noe both of us well say i dun love him.what can i do ryte? he believed them more than he believed my love.and in the end i was blamed.when all the things he did was left unspoken.i wish i can whack those people who told lies to not let us be together.i noe exactly who those people are and it hurts cus they are my friendss.if they had feelings for him too,should'nt they have let him live a happy life?but well i guess he is happy,not knowing the truth. the truth hurts me alot but theres nothing i can do.sometimes the person u trust betray u like no other.sometimes the person u call friend hates u but wont show it.all the sin was done by someone else but rezza saw me as the sinner.what can i do? when he say i love you,i asked him if he meant it. he said he did.what is love to him? card game? monopoly?
leaving for kl tmr night.so wont be blogging until maybe next monday.the 8th,i think. miss me!
hahas.it means i wont be around for atiqa's burfdae.uh well.will celebrate a lil whenn i return i guess..i think i really should go.
time check- 4:13 am
If I could only hold you now and make the pain just go away Can't stop the tears from running down my face All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do ...I'm lost without you I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you .
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
4:13 AM
god its so late erm okae,not exactly late laa right..its only 12:51 am..i was still online till 3:54 am but i went offline cus my mum's alarm would go off at 4 am..ahhas..so when she woke me up for sahur at which i only drank,i had to act like i was sleepy and couldnt wake up..madness i tell u..then i think she went to sleep back and i went into her room and sleep there...cus she was sleeping in the living room...and i slept till 3 plus..had a funnay dream but shh shall not sae..hahas..well when i woke up i was alone at home...she left me alreadi..haiz..so straight away went online...then she return at like erm 5 plusss and i action sweep the floor...but heyy,i did really sweep the floor kaes..hahahs...but it was clean cus she swept it in the morning..but who cares at least i swpet right..hahax..then helped her did the cushion thingy..and yeaa used the computerr agen..but then it was time for buka alreadieee..so yaa..only my mummy and me were at home..peaceful,if u ask me..hahax..then we watched sembilu..god i love that show..like the only malay show i neverr miss watching,really.then my mum left..she went giant.to get me some pizza stuff so i can do it for nabil cus he want to bring it back to camp..and yeaa,she bought me a shower capp..actually,i cant wait to shampoo my hair using the anti-curl shampoo i bought from JEAN YIP...and then she return..and i was still at the computer and then samir returned and he wanted to use THIS computer..basket i tell u...hahax...so yeaa while he used i was on the fone..talked to dhea farhan and feeza..and dheaa was bein horny...like we were talking about how it feel like to like go to the shop and ask someone to wash ur hairr...fezza love it,steam her alot.hahax.cute siaah..hmm..then i went online agen so HERE I AM!! hahas lamerr..
heyy,i did had a bad dae..todae is great!! =))
well,gotta write about yesterdae,when one of my erm burfdae?? wish came true..
well woke up at like err late yesterdae..about 2 pluss..and nabil was at home so made him pizza...but he didnt eat lamerr..well afterr that liek at 4 plus i bathed..and then got changed,wore my pink heart tee bought at esprit..love it btw.and yea we went to JEAN YIP by cab and i had to payy..well reached jean yip at like five pluss...and yeaa got my hair rebonded..weeeeeeee...the guyy who did my hair is SUPERR cute.really no kidding..kaes...i think i said alot abt how cute he is like on the fone and msn so wont start here..and yeaaaaa.........rebonded me is THE SAME!
no love like yours will ever do_
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
2:18 AM
Monday, November 01, 2004
I sit and wait
does an angel contemplate
and do they know the places
Where we go when we're grey and old'cos
I've been told that salvation lets their wings unfold
So when I'm lying in my bed
thoughts running through my head
And i feel that love is dead
I'm loving christopher instead
And through it all he offers me protection a lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong and down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me I know that life won't break me
When I come he won't forsake me
I'm loving christopher instead
When I'm feeling weak and my pain walks down a on way street
I look above
And I know I'll always be blessed with love and as the feeling grows
He breathes flesh to my bones and
when love is dead
I'm loving christopher instead
why must i be sorry for your mistakes?
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
3:52 AM
img src="
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v480/atiqa/bluecat.jpg">
I wish i was your cat.
you could love me.
you could kiss me.
you could hold me.
and it wouldn't be wrong.
i could come to you when i need you
for a good rub.
for a snuggle.
for an afternoon nap on your tummy.
with you hugging me.
it's easier to be a cat.
i'd meow or purr.
and you'd pay attention to me.
i'd show you my love with a gentle sniff
i'd show you my geram with my claws.
you're not obligated to say "i love you" to me,
because i can't say it to you.
and when you do say it
you'd probably think i don't understand what you say.
i'm too dumb to comprehend your emotions.
you'll just think my "i love you too" meow is my "i want food NOW!" meow.
i'll just be thankful when you say you love me.
coz i love being loved by you.
i wish i was your cat.
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
3:27 AM
