Maybe if you're still within reach, things would be different.
Cause then you'll see my heart is in the saddest state it has ever been.
You'll dry my tears and make me laugh again.
I know you would.
You've done it times and times before.
While everyone else told me to smile,
you seem to be the only one who understands that I really can't.
You agreed with me when I wanted you too
and you told me off when I needed it.
Sigh.
Just that I never had a friend who seem to listen to me so well.
No one ever said the words you said,
the words I need to hear.
And it was such a miracle how I opened up to you so easily.
I've never been good with words;
at least not the ones which describes how I exactly feel inside.
But you could figure them out somehow.
I just wish I can find someone else right now,
who can be the friend you were to me.
But it scares me so much now,
why do everyone I know fades away in the end?
It scares me so fucking much now,
I've been so low for so fucking long.
And theres no one.
No one.
Sure I've got friends who care to listen sometimes.
But somehow I could tell all of those I've tried to talk to,
get so fucking tired of talking to me.
But you never were.
When I felt so fucking shitty I just had to message you.
And even though I didn't try to make it obvious,
you always knew I was falling apart.
And I never did have to call you.
You always called me all at the right moment.
You had your issues,
and I tried so hard to understand.
I don't know, maybe I just wasn't a good listener to you.
Maybe you thought I never really cared.
Sure, I can never be the person you were to me.
But I truly cared.
You still ask me if I'm okay whenever we meet.
I guess I should be thankful for that.
But each time, I'm forced to lie.
I tell you I'm good and sometimes I add in a fake smile.
I guess you think I'm fine.
I guess you think its all over.
Its not,
and it hurts me more now than ever.
Do you know I still feel so much pain?
Everyday I tell myself I want to change my life.
I make plans with my friends
and I enjoy my day.
But when its time to go home,
I feel like I should just die there and then.
All I really want is to talk to someone who really cares.
All I really want is to know someone is always there -for real, not for say.
All I want is for these tears to stop flowing without me realising.
All I want is to be able to sleep at night.
All I really want is to be happy
.All I want is to be loved.
Am I asking for too much?
