Saturday, June 30, 2007
Rishi was being evil to me in siglap today. He made me cry and laugh at the same time. Its so unfair how he did it. I wanna be as evil as he is. I bet the satisfaction is like wooooshhh! The taxi driver was by far the fucking coolest apek I've ever met. He was driving and smoking at the fucking same time. And I'm like "where's the booze, dude!?". He stopped in the middle of the carpark to spit out of the window too. He's so fucking cool la omg.
Oh, how I love my siglap people. ((:
When I got home, I called my mum. I miss her soo much its not funny. We talked about stuff and I told her things I never thought I would. I always end up crying when I talk to her on the phone but I tried not to show. She made me realise things, about how man are just so fucking fucktards deep down inside, no matter how pious or nice or soft they are on the outside. I love my dad, I really really really do. I've always been a daddy's girls. I guess I loved him too much, till I totally forget about how my mum might feel. Things are different now. It hurts when all your life you think so highly about someone, you think the person's almost perfect; all your life. And then you take a few steps back, and you look at the situation from a different angle. It hurts when the person is'nt how you think he is. It hurts like hell when you realise how much he has hurt someone you love and would die for; your mum. And it hurts just as much when you realise that this person, is, well, your dad. But my mum's the strongest person on earth. I don't know how she stood firm on the ground after all these years. I really don't know. But she always say its for me and my brothers. Truthfully, I regret to have always been blaming her, in silence, for all the happenings. She really don't deserve it. I never thought events from 10 years ago would come back to hunt me now. And I have the images running in my mind, still. Sometimes I wish everything ended then. At least it would'nt drag till now. But it had'nt. And it hurts more now, than ever.
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
2:54 AM
