Thursday, June 15, 2006
its different when you're me.Did anyone read page 14 of the newspaper, dated 12th june? No? Bleh you. ---One evening a couple of weeks ago, my daughter told me her 27-yr old girlfriend died in an accident. Jane was riding her motorcycle, possibly lost control of it, and rammed against a lamp post and...I could not help but feel pain for my daughter and the young girl's rugby friends, but most of all, for her loved onces - her brothers and parents. -By colin cheeHow does one cope with such loss? How do describe the excruciating hurt that wrenches deeps inside you? A gentle life crushed before its time. A fleeting memory. A shy smile. Snatches of fun. Happy laughter. Kindness. Honesty. Warmth. A hand to reach out to. Someone in her prime.My quiet prayer is that she lived life to its fullest: Each moment a fullfied promise, each step a celebration, each breath a defiance of death. Dylan Thomas wrote in a poem:Let me escape,Be free, (wind for my tree and water for my flower)Live self for self,And drown the gods in me...I'll cut through your dark cloudTo see the sun myself...Jane is free - from all envy, backstabbing, anger, the forever bitchy snide asides, the dark side. In a few years. Jane will ebb in memory.The pain will go away, though it will linger on like a tear stain on a shirt sleeve, and the mere mention of her name may bring on a smile. Life snuffed out like a light star in a midnight sky. When i was young, i had no sense of my own mortality. Death visits only others.I was invincible.The world was mine to conquer.Life was to be lived for the moment.Yes, there were the jobless many. There was the occasional dinner of rice with dark soya sauce. There were the distant romours of people killed in race riots. But we were young and carefree.Life's cycle has no limits, it seemed, until i experienced first-hand my uncle's death. Acquaintances and friend-in-laws, some younger than i, have passed on unexpectedly. Several others have had intimate brushes with the Grim Reaper. You hear stories about Jane and Joan and you read countless stories about how the young die before its time. You ask: Is it enough to be living well or having a job that pays well with status to boot? Is it enough to be a staight As student?I really wonder.
somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
3:32 PM
