SAVE ME; someone's bound to hear my cries.

Monday, August 22, 2005

It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon
I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around
It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
10:49 PM

Saturday, August 20, 2005

seperate me from the rest,
while everyone's asleep.
when you think about the past,
everything has changed indeed.

stay away,
as far as you can.
stop thinking your way,
and try to understand.

maybe someday,
one day,
you'll find out the lie you've been living.
try to drown yourself with pity, believing,
that everything,
everything you could do to make a difference,
would never change anything.
cause everything you could do,
would be lost.

not going to fall for the same old mistake,
learnt alot trying to fix it.
i'm telling myself to leave it all behind,
to forget the past and carry on.
if only it was as easy as saying it,
i would be queen and you would be dead.
___________________________________________

Sounds familliar? =/

Mdm rubiah always give us shit to do. Seriously, she's making us DRAW. I TOOK LIT CAUSE I CANT DRAW. GET IT? i have to hand it in by monday or else she'll screw my end year. FUCK U LAAA.

much love.

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
11:36 PM

Friday, August 12, 2005

i'm here for you,if you'd only care.

I went missing since like that day. Urm, missing? Ok, wrong choice of word eh? I just didnt go online for quite a few days. And probarly wont be for the next couple of days either. My mum went to kl and she doesnt trust me alone at home. Lol. Not that i mind but the fact that i have to be at my grandmere's place sux. I mean, its not so bad there. But still, its bad. Haha. Get this,i just dont want to like LIVE there. Why? cause theres just no privacy when i use the computer there. Its like right in the middle of the family hall. And very near the stairs. So anybody goin up the stairs might see whatever im surfing. Thats bad. Not that i surf porn or what [haha], but i just don't like it. Its just not MY house, get it?

Freaky thing happened. HE smsed me lah. And he started talking about those times. Its so strange but he keeps insisting i tell him the truth, exactly what happened. What can i say? HE has the answers to everything. EVERYTHING. and to make things worst, i saw him in the morning just now. It always happen when i'm from my grandmere's place. Thank god Mira was there or i would have DIED on the spot. Lol. And if i'm not wrong, he was with another girl. HAHA. He's good, is'nt he?

Anyhoos, i think i shall blog about Aishah's Engagement and the Ndp "celebrations".

7th august
Aishah's Engagement (:

Supposed to meet Peppers and Jaja at Chua chu kang [YEAH, its where mira & me intend to move to] at 3pm. so i was in the train and pepper was saying that Kief's like already 30 mins late; he was supposed to fetch her from Bishan. So i jumped off the train at bishan and met pepps. [FINALLY, hurhur] Waited for kief for another 30 mins(!?) so he was apparently 1 HOUR late. hhah. and then he drove to cck. We had trouble finding cck mrt lah. Kief got us lost EVERYWHERE. Haha. So finally met Jaja.She waited for us for quite some time,i think. Hee. So aishah's engagement was pretty grand and she looked very pretty. (:

We then went down to the void deck to eat and all. Kief is crap. Haha. He insisted my cup was his when he didnt even had a cup. And he goes like he's gonna tell a joke but he told us a ghost story instead. And then he was talking about some chatroom thing and he suddenly went "so there was a bear in the jungle...." [!!]. Very random,that dude. It was fun lah, sitting down and crap with them. And jaja's so fond of small kids. though i have to say,that boy was SO CUTE! Lol. Heard pepps talk malay!!!! But i forgot to laugh. I'll wait for the next time! Haha.

Every 10 secs or so, we heard "right,right,right" and "you're not wrong,man!" Rofl.

So we took some pictures and stuffings. Might post it,if i feel like it. Lol. So sent Jaja home. Another trip in a car with kief driving it. [hurhur]. We got lost again, after sending her. Haha. But really,that place is weird lah. So its not much of a surprise Kief got us lost. Power station! Haha. But hey, its fun, trying to find your way around singapore. Lol. And oh, Kief said Bhumi's coming out with another album sometime next year! I can't wait! Heh. and i was sitting at the back of the car and pepps said something and ended with "shudders" and kief was like "what?" and they went on talking about sashimis and kayaks and canoe. [!!!] I was like, WTH. Lol. But i don't mind sitting in the car and get lost somewhere and have them to entertain me. i LOVE the way they crap lah. haha.

It was sucha nice day. Though i had to alight in the middle of no where[serangoon,actually], and had to take 24 back to bedok. Haha. Kief apparently had to rush to Jurong after that. And pepps,well, read her blog lah. LOL.

8th august
Nd celebrations in school

It was such a tiring day. Well, only because Rad and me stayed up till 3am the day before, talking on the phone. We stole lollipops from the cricket boys and they never realised it. Haha. Poor Farhan had to run for 12 hours. [i know of someone who is in LOVE with him! Hurhur]. So actually only the usual us were supposed to go eat or something like that. But the rest wanted to go to Tampines and farhan was too tired. And Dhea can't stand Nicola and Poh suan. And so i went to Macs with them. Its stupid how people can't get along and stuffs but i know the situation on both sides and its so whatever. So don't blame either for it. Sometimes people just can't stand each other. Its normal. -_-

9th august
Nd [!!]

Went for the run at tampines in the afternoon. I hate running! Lol. But it was ok. Went to Dhea's house,changed and met shank at eunos mrt. And then met azhar, raj, nesh and jega. Dhea dropped the lollipops we stole on the mrt floor. and some cute guys sitting down took. Haha. They we're HOT lah. Lol. And then we went Esplanade. i MISSS that place so much. Haha. Fireworks and such. And everything else sucked. so i refuse to blog about it. =/ Lets just say i made a mistake and should have met Atiqa and Feeza. But really, whatever. Bleh.

___________________________________________________

Jaja: What do you mean i look different,!!??. Hee. And really, it does'nt matter how many times we've met. My mouth just won't stop. Haha. Nice meeting you!

Pepper: Yeah,school always make us feel that way,does'nt it. Hold on in there. Just do your very best. Its only a few months left and you can party like fuck man. i WISH i'm taking my O`s this year. HurHur. Listen to GC's Hold on! (:

much love.
i don't know why i can't keep my eyes off of you_

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
5:08 PM

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Random Rantings. (:

Under moonlight skies, outlines of his face drifted into her mind and tear pearls began falling down from her eyes. He was the man of her dreams, she thought. And they were happy together, until the days flew by and endless skies never shone upon them since.

Words cut like lightning, through her heart, leaving an eternal scar.

Everything she had done, words spoken through her lips were made believe sinful. She was no angel in his eyes; never had she tried so hard to change her life for him. Entirely drained, from all the hurt and expectations of he and this world brought. If love ever existed, it would be too cold. Too cold it froze her heart, as she was all too numb now.

She had trouble with herself, but never lived in self denial. Severely flawed she knew she was, always wearing a fading smile.

Some day,

She believes she will be loved again.

much Love, esme-relda. (:

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
11:34 PM

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Ok i changed my template. Its not exactly done yet so its pretty screwed. I'll be having tuition at 4 plus at my gram's place and im still at home. Haha. Mum left for an appointment and i don't have much money. urghs.I"M LATE! and oh, please sign this! http://www.petitiononline.com/localmuz/petition.html

much love. xxx .

somebody save me;
i'm not crazy or anything.
3:35 PM